i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He shit in the fireplace
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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