yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
