There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
