Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
