My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
false alarm, still single
Randomize
