was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
