The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
