you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
