remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
