this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
