something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
