Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's shark week go big or go home
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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