it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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