He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize