Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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