I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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