I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Found your dick twin last night
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
