My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize