Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
