How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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