Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
