I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize