Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
