If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
