Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
