Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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