A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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