Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no, he came in my armpit
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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