Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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