I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
