then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
