Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
