I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
