I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
