We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
