i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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