Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
