What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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