she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
third nipple confirmed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
