My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I believe in your delicious
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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