If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
