I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
