Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
