Buhtt sex?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
