If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I would fuck him just for his dog
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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