I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
