he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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