Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
