oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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