I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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