Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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