ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have tasted many bathrooms
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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