and i looked up. we had an audience...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
