I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
