If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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