just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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