hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
