It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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