i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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