we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
